finally huh..

I......don't know where to start,but all this....tertiary education thing has really been an emotional turmoil for me.

First with the dilemma of letting go what i've been eyeing for ,for 2 years of my form 6 life,then putting faith on my results to get what i desired but that ended up as a shocking dissapointment.Next,given the path to try again and 'beg' for a second chance,yet to no avail,i was set aside to silence.

You know...all this kind of...thought me not to hope,or feel...for anything or anyone.Too much of this made my head ache and sleepless nights filled with questions,and the morning came to force me to give my answer.

I'm not complaining,because i know it's all my fault,for being too choosy and over-confident.But i'm okay thanks to the overwhelming support i've been getting from my circle of trustworthy friends and family.

I......have been hiding my emotions for too long,suppressing them so that i would escape getting hurt....until now,i hardly know the way to express them anymore when it's the right time.And i'm sorry...

Lately i've been approached with so many hugs,and,i try not to make it last for so long because i know,i'm vulnerable to hugs,and i know for sure i will breakdown if it goes more than 10 seconds.

I mean,a friend gave me a video to watch,and the first 5 seconds made me cry already.That's how much i've been holding in for too long.

I'm going to miss....ermmm.......see,i don't even know what i want to say for my miss-list...well...ahhh...jay?haha...

and i'm going to miss my air-con buchuk room...

and i'm going to miss cooking,especially for you darlings...

and i'm going to miss you...soo sooo much.

I am uncertain what this new environment would be like,but i will embrace it,and believe that fate put me there and God has a plan for me there.I'm going to work it out and do my best,prove what i am worth.

I may......change,or i may not...but.....please have faith in me that all of you are in my heart and you will stay there okay.

So...bye bye Alor Setar,i will see you soon :')

PS:If you realise that i've changed into something or someone you don't recognise anymore or hurt you in ways that i never have before,please....be honest,and tell me,then i'll know you care =)